Moving away has shown me who really cares about me and who really never did. There's people that still genuinely care about me and how I'm doing, and then there are people who I thought were my best friends, that could care less. But I'm okay with it, because it's showing me where I stand with a lot of people, and I know I'm not the only one going through this. I understand people are busy and don't constantly think about their friends, and for those that are constantly checking on me, I thank my lucky stars and god that I have you, cuz you remind me everyday that people do care about me.
I will admit, I went downhill for quite some time. Didn't know who I was anymore, and didn't know what I wanted in the big picture down the road. And I guess I still don't know- but I can say this, I'm learning where I want to be and who I want to be there with me in the end. I know I've been considered not the best girl for a long time, and I know those kind of images don't go away in a second, and I can say half of my image- I didn't even deserve! But I promised myself that I was gonna better myself and start trying really hard to be who I want to be. I don't want to be that girl that when I do something good, they're shocked! That's the furthest from what I want. I want people to have a genuine outlook at who I really am.
Maybe I needed to move to realize all these things, I took a lot of people and things for granted while I was in Utah.. I can promise you, I will never take these things for granted again. I guess going to school was a plus too, although I hate it so much. But on my days off, I spend it with my family, and I'm okay with that! Like I said, I'm realizing what I want in the big picture, and I remember how much I missed this family when I was in Utah, and would be so excited to see them. There may be times where I seriously feel so miserable, but I really shouldn't! Before I know it, I'm gonna be back in Utah; in my old life, with my improved self... And I'll be back to missing my Michigan family. So I need to value you this I do have, and buckle through until April, and then I can go home and be the best Cassidy I can be, with some quality memories with my loved ones from Michigan.