Sunday, June 24, 2012

Moments of impact

And it's when your tears can't even produce anymore because you've out worn your eyes, have taken a sleeping pill, watching the only movie that calms you down, and are still stuck in your mind, is when you realize what a mistake you really made.

Whether its walking away in the first place, or re opening a wound that was close to being okay. You know, it takes a lot of courage for a stubborn girl like me to open up and be vulnerable knowing that rejection might be in store. But now, I almost feel like I shouldn't of said a word. Because sometimes you realize things too late, and there's nothing you can do to make it better. No matter how hard you want something or think its right.

So cry until you can't cry anymore, feel the pain that your feeling and embrace it, because these moments in your life is what defines you and what may be the one situation that will help you out when a situation like this presents itself again.

Life sucks sometimes, but if you don't have bad days you won't appreciate the good ones. I'm hoping all these bad days will all make sense one day, because right now they don't make sense at all, not even in the slightest bit.

But for now, I'm gonna cry, I'm going to drive around listening to sad music, I'm going to put Practical Magic on my tv and press play over and over again, I'm going to lay in the sun until I sweat to death, I'm going to sit in the dark for hours. Because these are the moments of impact that change your life forever, you just have to learn how to take it, and let it define you in ways you might not understand now, but in time, it will all make sense. So if those are the things i have to do, I'm going to do it because one day I will be okay, I know it.

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