Saturday, March 5, 2011

it's time for change

high school is a terrible place of rumors, lies, heartbreaks, drama, and backstabbing. the thing is, is we all complain; but we all have a part in it. we all look at people with glares at some point and you might not realize how intimidating you really are, we all say our share about people even if it's something as little as wow that outfit is horrid.. we don't know how long it took them to pick out that outfit, and how cute they think they look today. why do we have to raid on peoples confidence? it's like the Taylor Swift song, she says "you point out my flaws as if i don't already see them." why do we have to rub things in? when people even have bad acne and look at them like they are some sort of monster, you think they don't already know. that's probably their biggest insecurity, but you just have to rub it in. we all have seen people, or have heard of the things that people say about us. does it feel good? no it feels horrible, and people say "well i don't care what people think of me!", but to some extent, it hurts you. no matter how confident you act. even if it's just a little twinge in the heart, it affects you. if it hurts us so bad, why do we do it to others? high school is a place where we all want to fit in with everyone. but does it really matter that much? no. you just need you close friends, and lots of happy acquaintances. that's what high school is about, having fun; and having no regrets. if you say mean things about people and you don't think you will regret it someday, you are very very wrong. once you grow up, you will see how much those simple words can change a persons entire life.

something you might not know about me...
i'm from a town called cascade, where people are called "cascade cupcakes", if you talk to my mom. a place where if you don't have a lot, you muuust not be popular. a place, where all their high school experience is based on tearing people down, and partying until they black out.

in 6th grade, i became different. my family was the black sheep. we didn't have a lot of money, my parents were way younger then every other parent at my school. i had a disabled little sister, and another sister. my parents had issues, a lot of issues. people judged us like it was their job. we were open with people we thought were our friends, and then it all backfired. emails about us were spread but mostly about me. people thought the most ridiculous things about me, things that a 6th grader would never do. i was harmless. none of my friends were allowed to play with me, me and my family "weren't safe". which was the biggest crock of shit i have ever heard (sorry for the language, i get fired up over this). that's when my whole school experience changed. my family was allways talked about, and people hated me. people that didn't even know me. i was the "bih" of the school, when really i was just dying inside from all the issues i've had in my life. is that an excuse? no it's not. when i got older, high school was hell my freshman year. literally hell. i hated to go, so i barely did. people made me feel like i wasn't welcome, and i wasn't. don't get me wrong, there were people that stuck by my side the entire time, and i will forever be greatful for them. and you guys know who you are, cuz you guys are literally the only people i talk to from my home town. then i moved and it was reversed, people were nice. and they accepted me. that's when i realized how horrible people can really be. an how horrible it is to feel alone. and that's also the day i decided i wouldn't be like those people, never again would i feel like that. and NEVER would i make someone else feel that way.

so today i vow, issues i have with people, i'm going to drop them. i'm going to make peace, i'm going to make my high school experience the best it can be; and try to make others the best theirs can be too. i will try my very hardest to not say mean things about people, and try to contain my words when i am upset. i will try my hardest to express how i feel in a positive way. i vow to look at all sides of a situation before i take a stand. i vow to smile at people that have hurt me the most and smile even bigger to the people that made my life a living hell, and to the people that might not be as fortunate as me to have a lot of friends. i vow that i will change someones feelings about me, i will. and mostly i vow to be the best person i can be for today.

forgiveness is key, all we need to do, is believe that we can forgive. things will always get better once you move on. it's time to be mature, we're almost adults, and some of us are. so let's act like it. we're not in middle school anymore, were almost into the big world. so let's make this time a great time, and make it so when we look back, we remember that we had the best times we could in high school, and we were the nicest we could possibly be to people. that quality is what's going to get people the farthest in life.

i'm sorry. i'm sorry for the confusion, i'm sorry for the mean words and the looks. i really am sorry. i'm ready to be mature, and i'm ready to be called "fake", because WE ^^ know that we're not being fake, we know that we had the best talk that we could have. and that we are ready to move on from our issues and be friends. we will show people that high school isn't about tearing people down, it's about helping bring them up when they are in time of desperation. but most of all, i don't care what people say about it; as long as we know what happened that's all that matters. i love you.