Sunday, January 1, 2012


if i could pick a couple years out of my life that taught me a lot, 2011 was most definitely in there.

i learned that you are going to have to trust in yourself, because if you want something at some point, you shouldn't regret it later.
i learned that you are going to get your heart broken multiple times, then you maybe will realize that you don't deserve that anymore.
i learned that you will lose friends faster then you can get them. 
i learned that i really don't have trust in many people, but michigan was a good refreshment of some of the people that i know i will always be able to trust.
i learned that people over use the word sorry just to get out of things; the meaning means nothing to me anymore.
i learned that it's okay to mess up, that it's okay to admit that you were in the wrong. i promise it won't kill you, every once in a while.
i learned that my personality is not meant to be in utah, i will never stop being judged for who i am.
i learned that people that meant the entire world to you can look at you and not give a crap about you anymore. 
i learned that i don't know what i want to do with my life, and that i have been continuously looking into my future and not enjoying the moment.
i learned that i get trapped in my own thoughts way too often.
i learned that girls will never ever ever ever stop stabbing in the back.
i learned that i'm never going to change who i am for anyone else, no matter how much you feel you need to.

but if there is anything i learned the most is that you need to follow what YOU want to do, whether it's the right or wrong thing to someone else; this is YOUR life, and YOU are the only one who can make it the way it's supposed to be. no one else can write the pages of your books, and yeah there will be a lot of pages that you straight up want to scribble away and wish they never happened. but there is one thing you always need to remember, those choices made you who you are and you learned so much about yourself in those times. yeah, you screw up and honestly want to punch yourself in the ovaries for deciding to do something so stupid, but that's life. you can't control what other people decide to do, because they themselves, are trying to find their way and writing their own book. no ones pages are going to match up to yours and some decisions may be the most shameful thing to someone else, but if i can give you any advice: do not regret anything in  this life.

and 2012, i promise i will treat you well; i may mess up and have a crappy year, who knows. but all i know is this year is going to be one of the most impactful years of my entire life. i can't believe i'm turning 18 in 7 days, and that i will graduate this year; i have been waiting for this moment for WAY too long.

like my facebook says...

2012, get at me.

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