Thursday, January 13, 2011

Listen Up

A High School Romance Heartbreak.
let me tell you a little story, you can spare 5 minutes of Facebook creeping, and listen,

once upon a time, i lived in a place called Grand Rapids, Michigan. I lived there for 9 years, all through my awkward years, the days i had braces, and when i had some ugly blonde streaks in the front of my hair (don't let me forget my middle part). Anyways, i always had loved ones, the boys i would giggle about kissing on the cheek, and stupid decisions i made with choices of boys i liked. i can be honest with myself, and say, i loved the attention from 5-8th grade. i met this boy in my 9th grade health class, and boy! what i experienced from him.. he is the boy i fell in love with, and it kills me. we were together for a couple months in 9th grade, whatever.. it's 9th grade, i should still be watching Disney channel by that age. i had my first kiss with him at my first homecoming, it was like a movie.. he pushed through people and ran up to me saying "I've been looking for you all night" and we started dancing, and simple as that- we kissed, and we kissed some more. the whole entire world spun beneath my feet, he gave me those crazy little butterflies inside my tummy. before you get too into the story, we broke up that year, not that soon after the kiss, crazy as that sounds. people got involved, and told me that i had to break up with him, drama.. shhhoooccckker. the rest of that year, we didn't talk. maybe an occasional wave or hi, but he hated me! once again. i knew i had hurt him, and i honestly did feel so bad about it. anyways, 10 grade came, and i started to fancy him once again, his birthday came around, and i gathered many things he loved,  and gave it to him with the lightest sparkle in my eye. i found out i was moving in a month, 4 days later. of course, when things are going perfect, some big bad horrible thing comes along and destroys. he and i decided to go to homecoming together, going to dinner, the whole shabang. but on the drive to the dance, he held my hand and nothing else mattered, i started to grow in love right there.  and then again, we kissed again at homecoming for the first time in a year. i moved, a day later. i was in my big bad uhaul, when i got a text stating "come to 7/11, i need to see you one last time". let me add, it's 1130 pm on a school night, in late October. he had riden his bike to the 7/11, in the freezing cold to say goodbye to me, one last time. when i pulled up i saw him in a baggy sweatshirt, a beany, and slurping our favorite Slurpee. i loved the kid, and i knew it. we kissed, said our goodbyes, and i headed to Utah, here.. where i am now. we continued our relationship, and i went for a visit in December, and i couldn't see him for 4 days because he was out of town, he showed up to my sweet 16, and i jumped on him and kissed him.. i missed him so very much. we only got to spend 3 days together, a whole 3 days? so kind of fate to give us sooo much time! riiiiight.. i left, and i had to wait 6 MONTHS to see him, we had some rocky times, but we were still growing in love.. determined marriage was in our future. i spent a total of 28 days with him, straight, doing the most crazy things and just loving each other. i have to say, we were perfect, to say the least. i came home, and i fell apart.. couldn't handle anything, especially being away from him, i broke up with him. by far the worst break up you could imagine. let's be honest, if you know me.. i make decisions without thinking, quite a bit. this was one of the times, and i didn't realize til later. went 2 hard months without talking, but started talking again after awhile.. we realized we were still in love and nothing could take that away.. we talked on the phone for hours, he would send me random cute texts. little did i know, he was dating my best friend- of 8 years. kill me, right? yeah it killed me. anyways, he led me to think that we were going to have a future in little time, and said the cutest things to me, i go to visit this past December, and i didn't see him once. and we haven't talked since January 2, 2011.

ha, what did you expect? a happy ending. no, I'm sorry to break it to you, but it doesn't end that way. he broke my heart, and I'm still recovering. I'm so weak, and have the worst trust issues now, i can't even tell you. i honestly thought i was gonna marry the kid, I'm in all seriousness. he holds my heart, and he crushed it. if you are wondering, he is still dating my best friend- well i guess, my old best friend- it's unreal the pain i have felt. but it doesn't change that once upon a time,
we were in love.


  1. "History must be written of, by and for the survivors."

    done with that douche for suuuure.

  2. cassss.
    you and i still have to have that long talk of ours that we started one afternoon in front of the school, in my car.
    and reading this only makes me feel better that i'm not the only one going through that same kinda crap. "i love you, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I can't imagine my life without you." yes, the WHOLE shebang, EXACTLY like you said it. then they go and break your heart and do the completely unexpected.
    you and i, we're living the same kind of love story right now. well, more like heartbreak story.
    i love you cass!