Monday, January 17, 2011


the question of "how did you see yourself now, a year ago?" is asked a lot. and let me tell you, i did not see myself being where i am today, a year ago. 

last year if you would have looked at me, the following thoughts probably crossed your mind:
wait, that's the new girl!
i see her on t-wolf tv a lot
isn't that Hannah's best friend?
blue? did i just see blue in her hair..?
now she has her nose pierced?
she kinda looks like she's black..

but most of all, you would have seen me with Hannah, Eliza, Ashley, Annie, and Rosie.

these girls, were the girls i spent my first year in Utah with, and the girls i called my best friends. i guess i was kind of different from some of those girls, i can guarantee you wouldn't see some of them with blue hair, or their noses pierced. but that was okay, because i grew up with Annie, Hannah and Liza, until i moved to Michigan, so i guess when i got here, i thought things would just go back to normal. and for awhile, things were pretty good.. but i guess, the beauty of high school can tear apart friendships. Annie and i are still best friends, actually together a lot of the time, but Hannah moved away, and i barely talk to Liza or Ashley.. Rosie and i had a class together, so that was good.. but otherwise, very little words are exchanged.

this year was a completely different story, as i said; no one would have seen me to be where i am today, a year ago. especially me.
if you look at me this year you might have thought the following:
she's with the cheerleaders a lot.
did she just walk out of the school with grant?
i never see her on twolf tv anymore..
oh my, now her streak is pink?
she looks homeless a lot..
she kinda looks like she's black (don't hate, it's my ethnicity)

but most of all, you would now see me with Smoot, Janessa, Steph, and Skylar.

Steph and i used to hate each other.. and it was probably just one of those "i don't know her, so let's hate her" type of deals, i thought Skylar would rather not deal with me.. and Janessa didn't get along with my best friend because of a prom shindig, and Kenzie commented on my skirt ones last year "cute skirt!". but that was the extent of any of our friendships. it started with Smoot, also known as Kenzie.. we hung out with the same boys, so we started to become friends.. we have been best friends ever since, then came Janessa (Smoot's best friend), and we started talking.. and we've been friends ever since, then me and Steph made up, loved each other ever since.. Skylar was last, and i don't really know how our friendship came about.. but i am sure glad that it did. i really don't know what i would do without these girls, they have made my junior year the best it could be.

that brings me to this...

don't get me wrong, i still love my girls from last year; and i still consider them some of my best friends, but let's be honest.. people don't stay friends forever, well not a whole group.. it's not like sisterhood of the traveling pants in every high school, but i do still love them and i would do anything for them. thing's just change.

next year, what am i going to do? i am going to be with Skylar and Annie, all by myself.. and i'm going to feel like i have no one.. but then again, i don't want to predict my next year;

because i remember, a year ago, i would NOT see my life to be the way that it is now.

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