what happens when the only person you want to talk to, wants nothing to do with you? that you hurt him so bad, that he can't even look at you; but those weren't your intentions. that you thought that this was the right thing to do, for the both of you. i wanted the best for him, and i really didn't think i was. i wanted a senior year, full of carelessness and nothing holding me back; i wanted freedom.
but why does it hurt so bad?
why would i ever want to be ALONE, and completely alone. not just kind of.
you try to whip out the distractions, but nothing is the same as what you shared.
a friendship and love bond. that you never really saw when you were in it.
that's what they say, you don't see what you have until it's gone.
maybe my decision is the right one, because we couldn't do a lot of the things we wanted if we stayed together, our cards just didn't match up. but what about clashing cards? making our own deck?
sometimes, i'm immature with my thinking, and i over think things. but there is no human out there, that doesn't. everyone second guesses their decisions in life, whether they are the right ones or wrong ones. but that is life.
life is learning to forgive others, but mostly; forgive yourself for the things you've done wrong. say sorry, and mean it.
maybe somethings are too long gone, and maybe not worth it anymore to fix. but once again, that's life.
people come in and out of your life for reasons, maybe just for a short period of time, but they were there for a reason.
maybe it was to show that you aren't over your ex, or maybe it was to show that you can't trust anyone but yourself.
and sometimes, it get's hard to be alone.