Wednesday, August 10, 2011


"Hey, just so you know... I don't think it fair how people are treating you, and I stick up for you when people say mean stuff about you. Keep your head up :) You'll always have a home in Grand Rapids"

"hello! i know we haven't actually talked in a long time, but I've been reading your blog lately, actually I was just reading it for likkke the last hour or so (yeah yeah, I'm a stalkerr) and I've just been thinking about you lately and wanted to see how things are! your blog really let me be able to see how you've been doing, and i miss that we don't talk much anymore. I don't know what really happened with us and why we don't talk, and to me it doesn't seem to matter right now because I just want to make sure things are good with you! Your blog is really amazing, cass and I do enjoy reading it a lot, as I'm sure many people do. I just wanted to say hello and see how things were and let you know I'm always here as a friend"

and it's days like this, that little messages like that can make you cry but feel so happy at the same time. 

an old best friend that i have talked about quite a bit on here, messaged me today; and i've never cried so hard over a message. we have been through so much in the past year, it's insane. mostly bad, alright; let's be honest.. it's all been bad. but there is something about a best friend bond that you can't just forget about.

"but you know me cass. and i stick up for myself. you used to do it for me when i weighed 90 pounds and wore britney spears glasses...(starts talking about our memories)...  or holding you in the school bathrooms in the middle school while you cry. i really dont know why im saying this. i just want to. i dont want you to forget everything about me. "

this hit me really really hard. i know people would say "don't you dare forgive her, she screwed you over royally", and you're right, i've never been so hurt by a friend in my life, but you want to know what the funny thing is, i WANT to forgive her, i WANT to forget about it. i know in reality, i will never forget what has happened. just like i can't forget how close we were and how much we confided in each other and how much i did stick up for her. i just want this war to be over with. 

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